During your healing journey you might come to a place where you explore your experiences through infancy, childhood, and young adulthood. For some of us this involves understanding how our parents really showed up for us and then perhaps how they weren't quite able to meet all of our needs.
Let's get clear on something here right away...parents do the best that they can with the resources and knowledge they had at the time. There's no blame or judgment. There's a deep understanding that they did their best AND sometimes their best wasn't what we required.
So now as adults, once we realize this, we have a few choices before us:
we can rest for a while in this realization
we can process and feel any anger, grief, sadness, (basically all the emotions) that can come along with this realization
then perhaps we come to understand that we have the great honour and responsibility to meet our own needs now!
Once we reach this place comes the great journey of "re-parenting" ourselves. This means that we get curious about what our true and authentic needs and wants are. We start getting to know ourselves on a deeper level. We begin to define what it means to be an adult. We start asking ourselves questions about our priorities, values, and daily choices. We walk ourselves through our daily lives with all the compassion, care, attention, and insight that we hoped for from our parents.
Re-parenting ourselves looks different for everyone. This process is a lifelong journey of understanding that we carry all of our subconscious and internalized experiences from childhood with us. It's understanding that we have the chance to explore these parts of our subconscious self to ensure that we're consciously connecting with our daily life in the best way for us.
Some examples of real life re-parenting moments include:
meeting your inner child self through a guided meditation and beginning/continuing to build a relationship with this part of you
giving yourself your basic physical needs when your body actually needs them (including resting when you're tired, eating when you're hungry, and using the washroom when you need to) - not waiting too long because you're busy working or doing something else
spending quite reflection time with yourself to continue exploring your true needs and wants
If this topic is something that really interests you then consider exploring the therapeutic model of Transactional Analysis created by Eric Berne and reading the work of Dr. Nicole LePera @the.holistic.psychologist
Kuddos to you for reading this and wanting to learn more about how this idea can help you! Thank you for being open to new ideas and "showing up" for yourself by learning new things - it's a huge sign that you're committed to living as best as possible, which takes great courage!
Yours in healing and health,
P.S. Please remember that however you choose to take this information is up to you! You're in charge of deciding whether or not these ideas are for you. Take what works for you and leave the rest! :)